MY MOTHER

Happy Mother's Day to my knock-out mom! I am so grateful and proud to be her daughter. What's so wonderful about getting older and becoming a mother myself is that I can wholly appreciate the kind of mother she was and is.

My mother, Karen Schuck LaDuke, was born in Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, with the thickest, darkest, head of hair. When she was little, instead of going outside to play with the neighborhood kids or cousins, she stuck around the grown-ups hanging on their every word, though not making a peep so as not to disturb them. When she was just two-years-old, she gathered up some magazines lying around the house and headed off to school, unbeknownst to her mother until some neighbors had to bring her back home. When she finally did start school, she was bored out of her little intelligent mind.

When she turned eight-years-old, she announced to her mama that she wasn't quite ready to be baptized. They lived quite a distance from an LDS church and her mother was ill, so she had only been a few times in the months prior to her 8th birthday. She felt she needed to wait until she could attend more regularly and study, learn and prepare to be baptized properly. Her mother did not argue and let her daughter make her own choice, a trait that carried on in Mom.

My mother is a very talented writer, another talent she inherits from her mother who is a published author. She is a wonderful public speaker as she always memorizes her whole talk so that she can continuously engage everyone with her eye contact, expression and intonation.

My mother rarely, if ever, raised her voice to us even though I'm sure I deserved it once or twice. She taught and disciplined us out of love always and exemplified patience. She loves my dad unconditionally and is a great example to me of the kind of wife I aspire to be. She taught us how to work, how to budget and be frugal (though I need extra lessons), how to cook (even more lessons needed), and how to love each other. She would always remind us that when we left the house we represented the LaDukes and to make good choices. She was and is always so obedient and faithful. One of the things I remember most is how she always let us make our own choices, even when they were the wrong ones. She did this from the time we were little and continues to let us find our own way now. How hard it must have been to hold her tongue and set us straight! When I think of what must have been many sleepless, tear-filled nights she spent over us, it breaks my heart. Even now, when one of us calls her for advice on making a decision, she won't tell us what to do. Her advice is always to fast and pray earnestly until we know what to do. Sometimes I just want her to fast-track it and tell me what to do. She is a great example of service, selflessness, and charity. She is always reminding us to love those who may offend or hurt us and forgive without hesitation. Two phrases she said that stand out to me the most are, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and "Pride goeth before the fall". Maybe they stand out to me because I need them the most - especially the first one.

I found this article with interesting questions to ask your mother and emailed it to my mom for her answers. Here are just a few of them:

1. What's the one thing you would have done differently as a mom? I can't limit it to one. I would have spent more time at bedtime with the youngest five. I would have taught you better about prayer and the Savior and all that He has done for us and how following Him brings the greatest happiness. I would have never lost my cool but would have been only kind and loving and in control when disciplining.

2. Why did you choose to be with my father? He made me laugh. He was strong and handsome and loved me. I liked all those things and thought he stood out in each. I thought he would love me forever. He cared about others and wanted to help them. He wanted to do all the right things where the Church and the Lord were concerned. That was most important.

3. In what ways do you think I'm like you? And not like you? like: You have an intent interest in being a good mother (and are). You want to do what is right. NOT LIKE: You are so much better at being a friend and a nurturer of those you care about (which is almost anyone). When it comes to going so far as enabling, I've decided you are more like your father. But overall, you are just so good at making others feel good. Outstanding trait. You don't seem to have the same kinds of interests that I do except reading and playing the piano. You are much more outgoing, optimistic, loving than I. If I didn't love you so much I could be jealous but I'm just happy for you.

I am so proud that she and my dad stepped out of their unadventurous, non-traveling comfort zones to serve a mission in Hyderabad, India. I am so anxious to see them again, but I know they are where they should be, serving the Lord. Before she left, my mom told me how her friend who had served two missions already told her that it's good to leave your kids because they learn that they don't need you. But I disagree. I will ALWAYS need my mother.

I love you, Mom!