LAUGH OUT LOUD.....

My little monster, as I affectionately call her, has some real doozies as of late. She is my precocious 3-year-old. More on why she's a monster later...

Me: Monster, you haven't even touched your dinner!
Monster: Ok, mama (immediately putting her hands on her food and looking at me as if to say, "Alright, I touched it!")

Monster to Carpet Guy: My mom has bras, but we don't. Do you have a bra?
Carpet Guy: Well, maybe I should. (Ha!)

Monster: I like fish in my hand, but not in my mouth. (I couldn't agree more, by the way.)

Me: What should we do tomorrow, Monster?
Monster: Re-decorate the house.


G had a little crush on a girl in his class, Madison K. One day he was so excited when I picked him up.

"Mom, mom!! I have something so awesome to tell you!!" He told me that Madison L. had told him that both she and Madison K. had crushes on him. I said that was really nice and it's because he is so kind and a good friend. He was beaming and then asked, "Mom, what does crush mean?".

About a week later I was helping out in G's class and I complimented Madison K. on her picture she was coloring. She said, "Thanks! G tells me I am the queen of colors because I'm so good at coloring." What a flirt!!

They were celebrating G's un-birthday at school, since he has a summer birthday, and I brought in donuts for the class. His teacher relayed a funny story from the morning.

Apparently, they were making ladybugs, and each child could name their ladybug. When she asked G he said,

"I want to name my ladybug 'whore'".

His teacher asked him to repeat it, because surely she didn't hear it right.
But he repeated, "whore".

She thought it was so funny because she knew, of course, that he had no idea what that word really means.

So, I did some discreet investigating to find out where it came from. He said, "Mom, my ladybug had fangs and was scary, so I named him "Horror" like a scary movie.

When he says it, it sounds like the other word. I still don't know how he knows about horror movies, because he's never seen one. But hilarious, nonetheless.


B: "We're gonna just cook up this dog and eat it!"
G: "No we're not. We don't live in China."


B recently came up to me and said, "Mom, I have to tell you something very important. Remember that time a long time ago when Monster cut my hair? (This was about a year ago). Well, I told you it was Monster who cut my hair, but really it was me. I lied and I'm so sorry."
The funniest part is that Monster admitted to cutting it when she didn't. I suppose she's just used to always doing the bad stuff.


B: "Mom, does Ursula on Little Mermaid wipe her bum when she goes to the bathroom?"
B: (answers her own question), "She probably doesn't because she's mean and bad."

B: "Mom, let's play Papercut, Scissors." (instead of paper, rock, scissors)

A GIFT FOR CHRISTMAS

I'm cleaning out my computer's hard drive and stumbled across this paragraph I had copied and pasted without a reference. I hate when I do that. But I love its message. There is an immeasurable value on time spent with someone. It is a true gift of love. The possibilities of this gift are endless.

"A loving person has concern for the welfare, progress, and happiness of the loved one. He not only has concern; he does something about it by making his resources available to the loved one. Loving is giving. It is the giving of material things to others, but even more important, it is the giving of one’s time. Among the gifts a father gave to his son for Christmas was a letter that read: “To my dear son: During the coming year my gift to you is one hour of my time each day for you to use as you see fit.” Isn’t this an act of love?"

ABC's OF ME

I was recently asked to write a short post on the ABC's of me. It's much harder than I first thought. But I decided to go with what FIRST came to mind. So here goes......

A – Almost 30. If we’re counting backwards. Ok, I’m 37.
B – Blessed with amazing family surrounding me. Awesome parents, six siblings, my own version of Mr. Darcy, and four funny kids.
C – Courtney is my older sister by four years. I used to steal her clothes until she grew up and I grew out.
D – Dance. I love to turn up the I-pod and dance and sing. The sillier the better.
E – Elections – I vote in every one, even though I can’t stand politicians. I take my right to vote seriously.
F – Fear of cockroaches - a real fear. If I find one, I can’t kill it but I can’t do anything until it is dead. This requires outside help.
G – G-Cup - as in the cup-size of my bra. Yes, it does exist.
H – Hubby is funny and generous and isn’t afraid to join in on the singing and dancing.
I – “It’s good to do hard things” is my motto and something my kids are surely sick of hearing. But I’m gonna keep telling them anyway.
J – Jump. I can jump freakishly high for being so short.
K – Keeping Up With the Kardashians is a guilty pleasure. (this one isnt' true anymore)
L – Laughter. I love to laugh and I inherited a loud, boisterous laugh from my dad. Think Julia Roberts’ laugh, only less feminine.
M – Mexican food is my go-to meal. I could cook it and eat it for every meal, every day.
N – “No” is not in my vocabulary, but needs to be. It’s something I’m working on.
O – Organized. Being organized makes me oh so happy.
P – Pumped for the new Twilight movie. Team Edward all the way.
Q – Quantas-lay-hay. A made-up word from our childhood made-up language, the Ooban-Dooban Language. Synonym: dork or goober. I still use this.
R – Rarely get jealous. It’s not in my nature, thankfully.
S – Swimming. I have always loved to swim and I’m pretty good at it, despite my non-swimmer’s figure. I used to teach swim lessons and plan to again.
T – The Sound of Music is my all-time favorite movie for so many reasons.
U – Ugly feet. They look like hobbit feet with the same strange, sideways pinky toes that Court has.
V – Volleyball, softball, track, tennis, ping pong. I.LOVE.SPORTS. Love to play them and watch them and I’m pretty decent at them.
W – Won’t break the rules – I am a rule-follower.
X – Xmas is my favorite time of year. I love the spirit of the season, the reminders of what matters, traditions, the lights, playing Secret Santa, the music…all of it.
Y – Yep, I’m a Mormon. I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and boy do I love it.
Z – Zero tolerance for whining and complaining.