SACRIFICE

I just read a touching story written by a woman about her mother who sacrificed so much for her and her siblings. I thought of my own mother and now that I'm older and a mother myself, I am much more aware of how much she and my dad sacrificed for us. Growing up, my parents endured all kinds of financial struggles and oftentimes marveled at how they were able to make it. I'm not sure you would describe us as poor, but close to it. They never told us of their financial worries and our memories are that we never went without. There were clues though. Other kids wore Keds and had all the different colors - we wore the generic brand and had only one pair, to be replaced when our toes were poking through the fake canvas. We had an old (and I mean old) red Datsun truck that was so beat up and the hood had to be tied down with a rope that hung out for all to see. We also had a VW Bus that was orange and hilarious. Everyone always knew it was The LaDukes coming. Things would break around the house (A/C, heat, dishwasher, toilets, washing machine, dryer, etc.) and we rarely fixed them because of lack of money. To help save money, my mom sewed most of our clothes. We NEVER had brand name clothes, or even clothes with a label at all! We never went shopping for clothes, even for special dances and proms. I don't remember EVER going to the doctor, except for shots right before kindergarten (that memory is extremely vivid - don't know if it's because of the trauma of shots or having to be semi-nude in front of a stranger), but I don't remember being sick either. I can only remember one family vacation where we left in the middle of the night in our orange bus and drove to California. I remember playing on the beach in a red bathing suit. My mom went back to teaching high school and in all her free time she typed dictation for a lawyer in town. My dad woke up in the wee hours of morning to do his newspaper route. On some mornings he would come back home to get one of us to help him get it done in time, if the paper had more inserts or if it was raining, etc. I remember vividly on those mornings, hearing him come back through the door shortly after he left and thinking while I pretended to sleep, "Please don't pick me, Please don't pick me." Most of the time, he chose one of my brothers and I would smile as I drifted back to sleep. What a jerk I was about that.

But, we were happy. So happy. I NEVER felt deprived or jealous of others. I never felt pity for myself or for our family. It was completely normal to all of us. And I felt so lucky and proud to be part of our family. And this was because of my parents. They sacrificed their time, sleep, energy, wants, needs, and all for us. Somehow, Christmas was always so grand. For seven children, we each had what seemed like tons of presents and Santa was always very generous to all of us.

I was a freshman in high school and the "Fun in the Sun" dance was fast approaching. My friends and I couldn't wait. They all were going shopping for their new outfits. I knew we couldn't do that and was planning on wearing something old (or raiding my sister Courtney's closet). I started to get ready and my mom came into my room with a shopping bag and surprised me with an outfit for the dance. I couldn't believe it!! I was beyond thrilled. I now wonder...what sacrifices did she make to buy me that outfit? How thoughtful and generous and what a surprise!!

Thank you, thank you, Mom and Dad. Thank you for teaching us that happiness does not come from money or things. Thank you for teaching us to be confident and secure no matter our clothes, cars, or broken house. Thank you for teaching us to be happy for other people's success and to not feel jealous. Thank you for teaching us that we don't need to compete with others (unless, of course, in sports) about our achievements or possessions. Thank you for showing us that sacrifice and service are what bring real joy. Even now, as you serve in India, you continue to sacrifice for your children. I was proud to be a LaDuke then and even more proud now.

Note: The picture with me in the dark pink shorts and pink and white striped shirt is THE DANCE. These are my friends Mike Ashton (who tragically passed away about 3 years ago) and Kate Malay (now Nelson), my dear friend. I don't know why my other girlfriends weren't in the pic. The outfit doesn't look very flattering on me in this pic - I promise I was thin then (not now, but then, for sure). Ok, how vain is that? So much for confidence and security!! :)

The formal picture is my senior prom and my mom made me this gorgeous dress. I LOVED it and I still have it in my closet. I went with Jerry Hahn who was in our ward.